An African proverb says, “Honor a child
and it will honor you”.
We all live in a modern world, and the
world around is really fast. Time is far most the scarcest resource in our
life. We end up spending all the time in making money and in the scheme of
things, family takes a backstage. The relationship between a parent and child
is a very special and crucial one in life. Like it is said, you work with the
clay when it is wet, similarly a child’s mind and personality gets molded in
the way you want. Children are totally dependent on us i.e. parents for existence
and hence it’s a completely 168 hours/week job. There are certain attributes
that they develop from genetics however the most important things in life comes
into them only through experience. And it is this experience that I want to
talk about which directly comes from us or the society in total. I will take an
example of a very close friend of mine and how he is shaped up with the help of
his parents in such modern times. This concept is called as buddy parenting and
it is not only new, but the need of the hour.
First things first! The most important
thing that you can gift your child is your TIME.
Nothing can replace it whatsoever. My friend is a single child and has working parents.
Despite their busy schedules, they ensured that he gets ample amount of time
with them. Here we need to be very clear that we are not talking about the quantity of time but the quality of the time with the child.
Second is the ability of being a friend.
It is not only important but now it has become a mandate for a parent to become
the first best friend of their kid. My friend’s parents were superb here and
they were the people who would hear it first from him. Be it about an issue in
school or be it his new crush! In this process of being a friend, a parent
learns so many things in life. Let’s take the technological aspect which is
very easy and aptly fits today’s scenario. Most of the parents learn invariably
the mobile phone operations from their children who are in the age bracket of
8-15 years. My dad is a carom champ and
he taught me the nuances of the game during my childhood. This learning journey
in the form of a pal strengthens the bond and brings a lot of comfortability to
the relationship. The Raj (ShahRukh Khan) – Pops (Anupam Kher) relationship in Dilwale
Dulhaniye Le Jaayenge not only looks good but it fills the gap exactly.
Third is encouraging the special skills
in child. I understand and endorse that education is important but skills which
are beyond the classrooms are equally important. My friends dad is from the army
and involves my friend all the physical training he undergoes like swimming,
running, badminton or soccer. My wife is a professional Carnatic vocalist and
she involves my daughter in her vocal classes to kindle that interest in her
right at a very nascent age. 30 – 40 years ago a career in sport was considered
to be stupid idea and parents used to say “khel khana nahi dega” but look at
today! Khel khana hi nahi balki aaj bahut kuch deta hai! Every child has a
special skill and jt may be in any form. It is the responsibility of the
individual parent to foster it and help its growth. Can you imagine what would
have happened if Sachin’s parents were not supportive, if Saina’s parents were
conventional.
All in all, net-on-net, the modern child
and its needs are completely different. Hence it is important that we communicate
with them right from breakfast table to bed. This may be difficult, but it is vital.
As it is said, today the gadgets have distanced the individuals but here we
need to strike a balance and see how we can use the gadgets to bring the family
together. Everyday tell them you love them. Everyday give them a hug. Reward
them for their efforts. At the end of the day, for the world you are just one
person but for one person you are the world!
Happy parenting!
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1 comment:
So well articulated, Sriram.
Parenting in the modern times has indeed evolved from being instructive to rely more on friendly interactions.
Here's what I wrote for the prompt -
https://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=493916
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